Seven Signs He Is Falling in Love

By: Robin Cockrell from Divinecaroline.com

When a man begins to fall in love, suddenly he becomes more attentive, more available and his actions will speak volumes. If a man is into you and considering taking the relationship to the next level he will step up and assume the role of boyfriend often without saying a word. Below are seven signs he is falling in love.
1. He makes sure he has a date scheduled with you on the weekend. The weekend is prime real estate. If you have a date with him every weekend and not last minute hook ups, he is moving in your direction.
2. He calls you almost daily and is interested in your day. He asks questions about you and is sincerely interested in you and your life. If he shows much interest in you it is a sure sign he is falling in love with you.
3. He texts or calls randomly to share something about his life. If he is doing this, he sees you as a part of his life.
4. He does little things for you. He may cut your grass, hang a picture, or change a light bulb you can’t reach. When he starts doing little things for you to make your life easier, he is falling for you.
5. He pays. If a man parts with the cash in his wallet he sees you as a good investment. Men will spend their hard earned money when he is falling in love.
6. He wants to see you even if it’s for a few minutes. He may find a reason to stop in at your work, or drop by your house.
7. He comes and pick you up and does not expect you to go out of your way to see him, he will gladly go out of his way to see you. A man falling in love does not call you late at night for a booty call, he thinks way to highly of you for that.
If your man is doing the above things, chances are good he is falling in love. He sees a possible future with you. What you do and how you respond to him can make all the difference in the world as to whether he takes the relationship to the next level. A man needs to feel safe with you before he makes a commitment. The way you handle the dating phase can make all the difference as to whether you go from a girlfriend to a wife.

How much would you give for sex?

I find it surprising how much men are willing to give, how many sacrifices they are eager to make in order to get laid. I find it even more surprising how little of those they are willing to give for a relationship of any kind, and how women are the exact opposite.

A man would skip work, travel for 2000 kilometers, pay for a hotel room and other expenses, to meet a woman with the only purpose of having sex, maybe even just a quick session. He would invent nice compliments, he’d pay attention, and he’d be a really great guy. The same man would find it difficult to spend a nice evening, pay for dinner and the movie and have a long walk with a woman who actually likes him and who would actually be good for him as a long term partner. He’d forget to make plans, to compliment her and to pay attention in this case.

Anna* has this friend who invited her in a romantic weekend in a really romantic city. He was a great host and presented himself as a really reliable and lovable person, while clearly stating that he was not interested in a relationship. She stopped seeing him when she realized he did not want the same things as her. It has been years since and the guy keeps inviting her for other trips, from time to time... he doesn't give up and he keeps on trying to convince her that she needs sex...hmmm. I wonder whom of the two really need it.

Cristina* knew Jim* for 6 years and there has always been attraction and flirting between them, but timing was never right- he was in a relationship; when he broke up with that other girl, she was in another country; when she came back, he was involved again; when he broke up, she had someone, etc. But for 6 years he never stopped talking to her about sex and how attracted he felt to her and how great he considered her to be.

No promises, though, in both cases. Never any real promise of a relationship! Just a really nice behavior, the type you, the girl, would fall for as leading towards something more serious, like a relationship. Both my girlfriends felt disoriented when, after having sex with the guy, his behavior completely changed... and it was just when she finally let herself have feeling for him and allowed herself to start hoping.

Why the act? Why would you put in so much time and effort for something even you can find everywhere? Wasn’t the conquest meaning something completely different a couple of decades ago, like getting the girl? Does the conquest now mean just getting in the girl?

On the other side, a woman is not even considering putting too much effort into arranging her evening schedule just to meet a guy she finds attractive, would like to have sex with, but does not seem to have a relationship potential. But in the perspective of a real relationship, she would skip work, travel the world and meet the guy, wearing the best looking outfits and lacy lingerie. We are the exact opposites in this matter.

Yes, we both have that therapeutically hormonal balancing sexual partner who is good in bed but we don’t really want them as our life partners. The difference is the attitude. She will ask him to pay a visit if he calls when he is in the neighborhood, while he will do grand and expensive gestures, send her the plane ticket and arrange to pick her up from the airport for the same purpose or he will pursue her with constancy for no matter how long.

How important is casual sex to men? It makes no sense to me. Why would I go through any effort for something that is so available everywhere, like casual sex? Why would I invest anything more than a bikini wax and a condom and why would I spend more energy than answering a phone call and talking for 30 seconds? How can be casual sex so important for men and so unimportant for women?

And the thing that really needs time and effort which is building a relationship, how come it is so rarely considered by men and (unless he really feels she is the one) thoroughly avoided?

I am not saying that men want only sex and women only want relationships, although it is applicable in most cases. I am just astonished by the huge difference in importance of casual sex to men and women. So my friend, if you are frustrated that he is not paying the desired attention to you, he does not seem to be really into you, but yet he seems to want you, don’t wreck your brain so much – he maybe is not into you, but he surely is into getting in you. Now, if you want a relationship with him, chances are you won’t get one. So it is up to you to decide…

*name was changed

Death to Chivalry, Hello to Hostility

Another article that is well written, using the right arguments...

By: Jennifer Lubell (View Profile)

Against my better judgment, I once decided to play matchmaker with my best friend.

Anna* is slim and delicate, with a good-natured personality. I thought she’d be a great match for Scott, a slightly broody computer programmer with an artsy side. He was tall and dark-haired, just her type.

To keep things casual, my friend Henry—one of Scott’s good friends—and I came along to play the convenient chaperons. As we waited for our dates to arrive, I couldn’t help but indulge in a few ill-fated daydreams, hoping that my friend would finally meet her prince.

My expectations fell dramatically when the fallen prince arrived a half hour late, complaining about the rain and traffic jams. He took one look at Anna, decided he wasn’t interested, and all good graces and common decency went out the window. He ordered his food first, started digging into his plate even before the rest of our entries arrived, and treated my friend like she was invisible.

Anna, bless her heart, tried gallantly to draw Scott in by asking him questions about his job and his hobbies. In this department, he was all too happy to oblige—and talk about himself.

When the bill came, we were a few dollars short after everyone had thrown their money in (Dutch treat was a given, considering how the evening was going). I thought the boys would offer to help. Instead, I got a helpless look from Henry, whose wallet had mysteriously run dry, and a defiant glare from Scott. Obviously, since I hadn’t come up with the woman of his dreams, he wasn’t going to contribute another red cent to the evening. So Anna and I did what any upstanding gentleman would do: we paid the difference.

Like other yentas whose fix ups have gone horribly wrong, I wanted to cover my head with my babushka scarf and hide underneath the table. I felt badly for Anna, not just because her date turned out to a selfish, arrogant jerk.

Once again, she had become the unlucky recipient of bad manners and lack of social graces from the opposite sex.

Several months ago, she drove twenty miles from Maryland on a weeknight to meet an Internet date in Virginia. Just like Scott, the man stared stonily into his drink for an hour and wouldn’t talk to her. In an email conversation with another Internet prospect who also lived in Virginia, she asked if he ever came up to Maryland on business. Perhaps they could meet for a drink.

His huffy response was: “I guess it’s too much to ask that you drive halfway to meet me?”

I got an email from her shortly after this exchange. “Chivalry is dead,” she wrote.

In an age where it’s perfectly acceptable to delete someone’s online profile with a touch of a finger, and dismiss someone at a speed dating event after talking to them for exactly three minutes, it’s not surprising that old-fashioned manners have been replaced by modern-day hostility and a sense of entitlement.

Men are no longer required to open doors for women, pay for dinner on a first date, or drape a coat over us when it’s cold. The men reading this are undoubtedly thinking, why should we act like gentlemen? What’s in it for us? Women make as much money as we do. They steal our jobs, have babies on their own. They’re big girls. They should be paying for our dinners, shouldn’t they?

And some of the women, in their high-powered suits and beepers and palm pilots are sneering that they don’t want to go back to the days when they had to act like mindless ninnies and drop handkerchiefs on the floor.

Quaint romanticism may be silly, but in my opinion, it’s the ingredient that once made dating a special event. Nowadays, nothing is special anymore. A typical date has the aura and significance of withdrawing money from an ATM machine.

I remember having similar experiences to my friend Anna during my single days. I got yelled at by an attorney in a Chinese restaurant for “asking too many questions,” and on another date sat there starving for half an hour, because the guy couldn’t decide what he wanted for lunch.

One man kept bringing up the fact that I was “very short,” even though he had mt me in a bar a few weeks beforehand, and I was wearing flat shoes at the time.

Absence of chivalry doesn’t just create callousness in men. Apparently, it makes them less observant.

As I write that sentence, I realize that modern-day hostility and entitlement has bred new germs of its own: cynicism and hopelessness.

Somehow, in this sea of sharks and online dating terrorism, I managed to find that needle in a haystack. My husband and I met on a bike ride, and he called me the next day to ask me out. A year later, we were engaged. Our courtship wasn’t perfect, but it was based on an old-fashioned romantic formula that doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

It may seem sexist, but honestly, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a man to pull out a chair for a woman on a date and treat her decently, even if he doesn’t plan on asking her out again.

And a chair, guys, only weighs a few pounds. I think you can handle it.*Name has been changed.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22070/79607-death-chivalry--hello-hostility

Why We Kiss?

I came across this article and I found it really interesting.

Why We Kiss: The Science of Sex
By: Brie Cadman
Pecking, smooching, Frenching, and playing tonsil-hockey—there are as many names for kissing as there are ways to do it. Whether we use it as an informal greeting or an intensely romantic gesture, kissing is one of those ingrained human behaviors that seems to defy explanation. Its many purposes—a blow and peck for good luck on dice, lips to ground after a rocky boat ride, kisses in the air to an acquaintance, and the long slow smooches of Hollywood—have different meanings yet are similar in nature. So why is it that we love to pucker up?

A Kiss Isn’t Just a KissPhilematologists, the scientists who study kissing, aren’t exactly sure why humans started locking lips in the first place. The most likely theory is that it stems from primate mothers passing along chewed food to their toothless babies. The lip-to-lip contact may have been passed on through evolution, not only as a necessary means of survival, but also as a general way to promote social bonding and as an expression of love.

But something’s obviously happened to kissing since the time of the chewed-food pass. Now, it’s believed that kissing helps transfer critical information, rather than just meat bits. The kissing we associate with romantic courtship may help us to choose a good mate, send chemical signals, and foster long-term relationships. All of this is important in evolution’s ultimate goal—successful procreation.

Kissing allows us to get close enough to a mate to assess essential characteristics about them, none of which we’re consciously processing. Part of this information exchange is most likely facilitated by pheromones, chemical signals that are passed between animals to help send messages. We know that animals use pheromones to alert their peers of things like mating, food sources, and danger, and researchers hypothesize that pheromones can play a role in human behavior as well. Although the vomeronasal organs, which are responsible for pheromone detection and brain function in animals, are thought to be vestigial and inactive in humans, research indicates we do communicate with chemicals.

The first study to indicate that chemical signals play a role in attraction was conducted by Claud Wedekind over a decade ago. Women sniffed the worn t-shirts of men and indicated which shirts smelled best to them. By comparing the DNA of the women and the men, researchers found that women didn’t just chose their favorite scent randomly. They preferred the scent of man whose major histocompatibility complex (MHC)—a series of genes involved in our immune system—was different from their own. Having a different MHC means less immune overlap and a better chance of healthy, robust offspring. Kissing may be a subtle way for women to assess the immune compatibility of a mate, before she invests too much time and energy in him. Perhaps a bad first kiss means more than first date jitters—it could also mean a real lack of chemistry.

Men Sloppy, Women ChoosyBehavioral research supports this biological reasoning. In 2007, researchers at University of Albany studied 1,041 college student and found significant differences in how males and females perceived kissing. Although common in courtship, females put more importance on kissing, and most would never have sex without kissing first. Men, on the other hand, would have sex without kissing beforehand; they would also have sex with someone who wasn’t a good kisser. Since females across species are often the choosier ones when it comes to mate selection, these differences in kissing behavior make sense.

Men are also more likely to initiate French kissing and researchers hypothesize that this is because saliva contains testosterone, which can increase libido. Researchers also think that men might be able to pick up on a woman’s level of estrogen, which is a predictor of fertility.

Crazy for CanoodlingBut kissing isn’t all mating practicality; it also feels good. That’s because kissing unleashes a host of feel-good chemicals, helping to reduce stress and increase social bonding. Researcher Wendy Hill and colleagues at Lafayette College looked at how oxytocin, which is involved in pair bonding and attachment, and cortisol, a stress hormone, changed after people kissed. Using a small sample of college couples that were in long-term relationships, they found cortisol levels decreased after kissing. The longer the couples had been in a relationship, the farther their levels dropped. Cortisol levels also decreased for the control group—couples that just held hands—indicating that social attachment in general can decrease stress levels, not just kissing

Looking at oxytocin levels, the researchers found that they increased only in the males, whereas the researchers thought it would increase in both sexes. They hypothesized that it could be that women need more than a kiss to stimulate attachment and bonding, or that the sterile environment of the research lab wasn’t conducive to creating a feeling of attachment.

Kissing, therefore, plays a role not only in mate selection, but also in bonding. At an Association for the Advancement of Science meeting on the science of kissing, Helen Fischer, an evolutionary biologist, posits multiple reasons for lip locking. She believes that kissing is involved in the three main types of attraction humans have: sex drive, which is ruled by testosterone; romantic love, which is ruled by dopamine and other feel-good hormones; and attachment, which involves bonding chemicals like oxytocin. Kissing, she postulates, evolved to help on all three fronts. Saliva, swapped during romantic kisses, has testosterone in it; feel-good chemicals are distributed when we kiss that help fuel romance; and kissing also helps unleash chemicals that promote bonding, which provides for long term attachment, necessary for raising offspring.

Sniff, Snuggle, and Turn RightYet, not all cultures or mammals kiss. Some mammals have close contact with each others’ faces via licking, grooming, and sniffing, which may transmit the necessary information. And although chimps may pass food from mother to child, the notoriously promiscuous bonobos are apparently the only primates that truly kiss. And while it’s thought that 90 percent of the human population kisses, there’s still the 10 percent that doesn’t. So it seems that as much as we use kissing to gather genetic and compatibility information, our penchant for kissing also has to do with our cultural beliefs surrounding it.

Whether we live in a place where kissing is reserved for close acquaintances, or somewhere where a casual greeting means a one, two, or three cheeker, one thing does remain highly consistent: the side to which people turn while kissing. It’s almost always to the right. A 2003 study published in Nature found that twice as many adults turn their heads to the right rather than the left when kissing. This behavioral asymmetry is thought to stem from the same preference for head turning during the final weeks of gestation and during infancy.

One of the best things about kissing, however, is that we don’t have to think about any of this. Just close eyes, pucker up, and let nature takes its course.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22081/76045-kiss--science-sex/

Did I marry the right person?

Article pasted from one of my received e-mails. I think it is relevant for most relationships.

During one seminar, a woman asked a common question. She said, " How do I know if I married the right person ?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, " It Depends. Is that your husband?"In all seriousness, she answered " How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked Their idiosyncrasies.Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, " I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing There; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome ( when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you Think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, " Did I marry The right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of The love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is The most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find " LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression " the labor of love."Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe ( such as gravity),There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can " make" love.Love in marriage is indeed a " decision"... Not just a feeling.

Thank God for the Internet

I can’t remember how many times I have zapped throughout the entire range of over 100 channels I receive on my TV, looking for something interesting or funny or simply worth seeing.

I can’t remember one time that I was looking for something over the Internet and did not find.

But I can remember many times that I found out about something that I considered interesting, either on the Internet, or on TV, in the papers, went online and searched more, read more, got satisfied with what I found.

I think the most important benefit that the Internet offers me, apart from changing the communication, finding all the necessary information, entertaining or allowing me to express myself how I want, is the capacity to control what I get from it. It is my choice what link to follow, my choice how much I read on a subject, my choice to ignore what I am not interested in.

I do not have this chance on any other media. On TV I am served a dish that sometimes I find toxic, and if I look away, I can’t get a substitute. I can chose among 100 channels – that is much better than it used to be, but on each moment there are only 100 choices. On my favourite channel I have no choice. I see what the channel decided I should see. They choose the news although sometimes it is not newsworthy for me. They choose what entertainment to give me, although sometimes it is not what I like. I am being served whatever they choose.

If they manage to post on that screen something that I want, they were lucky. It happens, though. That is why I still have a TV set at home. But I always have the Internet on, as well.

The Internet gives me millions of options and each option in millions of forms. I can follow the thread I want, the time I want, as much as I want. I have the power.

Thank God the Internet was invented. Thank the Inventors for giving me this much power.

Orice se poate cand nu se mai poate

De cate ori trebuie sa prezint Romania si romanii unor straini care fie vin la noi in tara ori pe care i-am intalnit in strainatate, incerc sa gasesc acele elemente cu care ne putem lauda. Adevarul este ca atunci cand esti departe de tara uiti cum e realitatea de acasa.

Cand m-am intors in Romania, coincidenta a facut sa fie chiar in momentele de inceput ale crizei la noi, ale crizei economice, dar mai ales ale celei guvernamentale. Ce m-a surprins a fost nivelul extraordinar de mare al frustrarii generale a populatiei. Oricunde mergeam, discutiile erau despre cat de prost este guvernul, cat de rau merge economia si mai ales cat de prost este guvernul si ce magarii face in mod constant.

Anul 2009 a fost un an propice scrierii de eseuri caragialesti, pentru ca atat de multe ciudatenii tipic romanesti s-au intamplat incat nu mai stii cum sa reactionezi, dar macar ai inspiratie.

Imediar dupa alegeri, se formeaza un guvern mixt intre doua partide politice opozante si li se arunca oamenilor de rand praf in ochi – na! daca ati fost fraieri si ati votat, iata ca nu contati deloc! Apoi apar ordonante noi, pe cat de noi pe atat de idioate – impozit forfetar care a distrus initiativa privata (motor de dezvoltare in orice economie), taxe noi, nerespectarea fragranta a legilor votate doar cu cateva luni inainte, scandaluri de coruptie la ministerele importante, ministere ocupate de incompetenti, etc.

Si imi aminteam ca prin anii ‘90, guvernul nu prea putea sa isi faca atat de mult de cap, caci ieseau oamenii nemultumiti in strada. Da, ne saturasem de meetinguri, dar se puneau bazele societatii civile. Imi mai aminteam si cum in facultate eram implicati in tot felul de actiuni ale diverselor asociatii, unele care chiar militau pentru democratie si pentru valori occidentale, pentru un stil de viata bun al oamenilor si pentru a fi civilizat. Nu stiu cat de mare era impactul, dar implicarea tinerilor era una activa. Alegerile parca nu erau chiar asa lasate la cheremul partidelor si institutiilor statului si parca in general statul nu era chiar asa de liber. Exista societatea civila.

Cand am venit in tara, nu mi-a venit sa cred cate mizerii inghitim de la institutiile statului, de la politicieni, de la guvern si mai ales de la presedintele statului. Inghitim si nu ne saturam. Unde era societatea civila?

In statele occidentale, lumea iese in strada daca le creste pretul benzinei cu 5 eurocenti, sau daca se reduc niste subventii pe un singur sector. Neamtul, francezul, Irlandezul nu inghite orice. La noi, de ce nu mai iesea nimeni in strada? Da, sindicatele erau cumparate de politicieni, dar unde e ProDemocratia, unde sunt toate asociatiile de tineret? Unde e partea de societate civila care are grija de zona politica? Parca au fost extirpate si nu au mai ramas decat organizatiile ecologice si de caritate. In schimb poporul (pulimea) era din ce in ce mai frustrat, iar guvernul da in mod continuu numai legi pentru accentuarea crizei, numai legi care sa distruga si mai mult ceea ce abia reusisem sa construim.... si isi asuma "raspunderea" (ce o insemna asta)

Simt ca pe piata muncii, in mediul de afaceri, pe zona comerciala dar si in domeniul institutiilor publice, ne-am intors in timp 10 ani. Sisif era mic copil fata de poporul roman. Dece nu reactiona?

Inseamna ca inca nu ne-a ajuns. Da, stim cu totii ca romanii suporta multe, romanii se sacrifica pentru a obtine orice, ne bantuie Miorita si Manole. Deci inca se poate… inca nu am atins punctul in care sa nu mai suportam.

De aceea evenimentele de saptamana aceasta- greva generala si meetingul tuturor sindicatelor care dezvaluie intreaga suparare si chiar ura reala fata de guvern – ma bucura. Da, stiu si sunt de acord ca nu e cea mai buna modalitate de a-ti rezolva problemele, ca deranjeaza, ca se creeaza haos, iar eu nu sunt deloc anarhista. Dar ma bucura pentru un singur fapt – in sfarsit reactionam. Parca am fost un popor in coma cu care un grup de magari nesimtiti si-au facut de cap timp de cativa ani de zile. Gata, ne-am trezit si exista o reactie. Aleluia!

Oameni buni! Nu va mai lasati calcati in picioare!, Nu mai asteptati ca poate cuiva ii pasa. Nu mai lasati politicienii sa isi faca de cap. Daca aveti stofa de leader, actionati! Singurii luptatori pe acest plan erau bloggerii si presa, dar unde era societatea civila?

In sfarsit reapare la orizont, in sfarsit nu se mai poate.

Caci stim prea bine ca la romani, ORICE SE POATE CAND NU SE MAI POATE!

If you were a font which one would you be and why?

Does this question seem strange to you? Well, it might be. But have you noticed that most people use the default font that the text editing program has installed, meanwhile the ones who write a lot or who know the programs a little better than just to open and type are selecting their own fonts?

Have you heard about Graphology? It is the science that reads someone's personality in their handwriting. Now, Graphology is on its way towards extinction, since less and less people in the modern society actually write. We use out mobiles to type notes and phone numbers, we use our computers to put our personal notes, we tend not to use the pen so much and future generations probably won't know how to handwrite. Graphology states that people put something of themselves in the words they write. Don't we put something of ourselves even when we type?

The fonts people chose say something about themselves and their preferences. Even when chosing between Arial and Times New Roman you make a choice that says something. You are prefering a serif font or a sans serif font to the other. This could mean that your personality is more ordered and simplistic if you chose Arial and a little more complicated, detail oriented when chosing Times New.

I used to like Garamond a lot, because it seemed to me a very elegant font, complex, yet uncomplicated. The serif is more discreet than Times New Roman, but the font in itself creates a more complex image. It is rounder than Times New Roman, and for me it seems friendlier. However, in the business communciation I never used Garamond, sticking to the standard Times New.

But after thousands of pages and documents created, I have the right to give a little personality to what I put on paper using the visual aid of font styles, sizes and color as well. I went through a Tahoma faze for a while – it seemed to me clear, easy to read, but still friendlier than the cold, sens serif Arial. But Tahoma is not me.

I am Trebuchet MS. Clear, easy to read, very extroverse, yet round and cuddly. Trebuchet allows you to read a lot without bothering your eyes, it is open. It is well dimensioned to go well with the scientific approach, yet some of the letters are rounded and more proper for a casual approach. It is a feminine font, but a straight, clear and aerated one as masculine fonts like Verdana or Arial are.

I use Trebouchet MS in both personal and professional communciation and it fits both areas very well. Even an official letter looks good in Trebouchet MS, although it is not standard. Trebouchet is the font that is classical, yet accessorized. Just like I think I am. My dress style is classical, mature, appropriate for where I am, but still accessorized, still with some color. I wear make up even if I am dressed casual. I wear a little color and obvious jewelry even with a sober, grey suit, to a conference. The way I dress is the way I am. The way i write has to be the way I am.

I am writing this post because I noticed how I can recognize myself in a document from a pile of papers written by many people and how among the papers I wrote in time, I can spot the most recent ones, without seeing the title or any of the content. Trebuchet MS is what describes me best in terms of font at this moment of my life.

But the font is not all that makes the document mine. The way I post the titles, the colors I use for them, the way i structure the content, the use of bullets and aligning, the overall aspect of the paper. Two different people, both using the same font and writing the same text, don't issue two visually identical pieces of paper. Isn't this funny?

Have you ever thought about this? Do you know what your font is? Do you know why you prefer the font you commonly use? I bet most of the ones who read this post never gave a thought to it... well. You, who know me are not surprised for sure. :)

So if you were a font what font would you be an why?

Don't be shy! Comment!

Being Addicted to a Good Feeling

You meet someone and you feel good. Some things he/she says make you feel good, something about what you see make you feel interested, attracted, etc. A good feeling about somebody gives you energy… it is like vitamins for your soul.

But as all vitamins, they are used by the body on a certain amount of time. Then the body needs a new dose in order to keep on being healthy. It is the same with feelings, they tend to last for a certain period and then they either disappear or get altered. The memory of that feeling fades in time and by itself it will not maintain the energy… not indefinitely.

That is why we need to get constant or increasing doses of that same feeling. They are addictive.

If you meet an interesting person, you want to get more time with that person as soon as possible. It seems like you are rushing, but it is actually an instinct that your brain and body have. You need to keep the good feeling active and, whether you know it or not, the way to keep it alive and growing is by increasing the dosage and by making the intervals between doses shorter. Your soul feeds of good feelings. The relationship instinct is a primary instinct.

In the case that you rationalize the feelings and slow down the process, you starve your soul of the energy it needs. It is as if you are putting it on diet. The outcome is that either the feeling fades away in time and you don’t feel the need any longer. You will forget about that person or you will simply not desire him/her anymore, you become indifferent and you will meet someone else. Or. you become obsessed and develop a sick craving for that feeling, giving it a bigger value than it really has and you get stuck in that irrationally, or you become num in regards to feelings and you don’t recognize one at its right value. Or, you simply replace the feeling with another that is more available to you at the time, eliminating the need for the first.

The truth is that you need to hold on to the good feeling for as much as you can and you need to assure a constant dose of it in order to keep it longer.

If you meet somebody, don’t let too much time pass between the dates… the nice feelings you have on your first dates risk to fade, because they did not have enough time to get strong. Early feelings are not as powerful as reinforced ones.

Long distance relationships do not work for the same reasons… the dosage is too rare and not constant. Since the soul needs feeding, at any moment another feeling can appear to replace the initial one. Being together is the best way to keep a good feeling active, to grow it, strengthen it and make it last longer, be more powerful.

If you meet someone who is at a long distance, it is even more difficult to grow a feeling. Make sure you meet that person as soon as possible and make sure that the next encounter is soon enough too. Otherwise it fades away.

The interest in somebody stays alive for as long as that person is in your direct sight, for as long as you keep that person in your direct interest and for as long as you can see a positive development. That is why longer exchanges of e-mails or phone calls without a direct encounter tend to end all of a sudden. You can’t feed a feeling by distance.

It is exactly like trying a drug once, only once, and then not trying it again for months… you do not get addicted. Try it once, and in a few days again,… and again and you are stuck.

Feelings are drugs, but good ones. You want to get addicted to them. Once the addiction becomes a habit, your relationship has a chance.

The research process applied to personal relationships

How to find out if he/she is the one in seven steps

As a marketing professional, I am good at research. And what is the research process? How do I apply it to personal relationships? Here is a step by step process that might explain my way of dealing with things and people. I may seem crazy, but since the definition of crazy includes the lack of logic, my process is exactly the opposite. My process is very logical, organized and completely rational. I even rationalize emotions I take emotions and use them as hints for generating information or I process them as information when this applies.

The truth is, most people go through the same process. They just don’t realize what they are doing; they call it “love”, “feelings” or “intuition” and don’t think about the process. They can be really lucky that their intuition was good and got the right person or really unlucky, getting disappointed, cheated, hurt by the other.

When using research, the positive result will only enforce the feelings you had for that person and make love even stronger, while a negative result will help you get over the relationship much faster, because you know you were not cheated or hurt, but you simply did not find the right person you were looking for. It is easier to deal with the feeling of not being fitted for each other than with betrayal or hopelessness.

On the other hand, think of it as exaggerated, but don’t dismiss the process. After all, each relationship is a trial. You can try your whole life to know a person and get surprised after years, or you can do your research properly. You will save yourself a lot of time if the other is the wrong person for you and you can move on to the next who has a potential. You will also be able to allow yourself to enjoy the relationship if the result is positive, being confident that you made the right choice to be with that person.

How exaggerated is that? How crazy is that?

Ok, I admit, the following process is a little exaggerated, but it is modeled using a scientific method. This is what we all do, but don’t realize it.

Before we start please keep in mind that this process is only for intelligent and emotionally stable people. Should any unstable or frustrated person try it, it will be a disaster. If you don’t know yourself very well and if you don’t trust yourself to be able to handle it, don’t even start! Stick to your informal method that is better for you.

How to find out if he/she is the one in steps?

Step 1: Finding the subject. You meet someone that you find interesting. There is a certain attraction to consider that person. Generally the feeling is a good one, a feeling of attraction. This draws your attention towards the subject and places the subject in the area of your interest.

Step2: Generate a hypothesis. Since my interest is to find the right man for me, with whom to develop a real relationship, eventually to have a family, my hypothesis would be “X is the one”. Of course this statement has as main source an emotion. But as a researcher, I know that any hypothesis or theory can be proved valid or invalid. Basically that is the purposes of any research- validate the statement or invalidate it. Whichever the result, the research is successful. Other statements can be: “She is the one for me”, “we will make a good couple”, “he/she is a good friend” etc.

Step3: Generating the set of criteria. You already have a general opinion about how you would like your man to be. Among these criteria could be – a truthful person, has a job, has an interesting job, similar tastes with you, similar values, is single, does not have any children, wants/does not want children, has certain physical traits, has certain behavioral traits, income, knowledge, style, etc (this is your check-list with all you hope to find in the man of your dreams). Each person has certain expectations from their “one”. There is a matrix that can apply, if you really want to go in very much detail, but just having the list of criteria is enough for now.

Step 4: Score the criteria. Each person gives different levels of importance to different criteria. For instance: for a woman it might be important that the man drives a nice car, but not having that car does not necessarily eliminate him. On the other hand, there are criteria such as – “not to hit me” that are real deal breakers. If you realize that man is aggressive and has already hit a woman in his past, you will run away. So take each criterion and make a statement about it. You can use a scale like “crucial (deal breaker)/ very important/ important/ with little importance/ not important”, give it points from 1 to 5, or chose whatever suits you.

Step 5: Develop the research tools set. These are the ways you use to gather data for your research. Remember that data is different than information. It is raw and unprocessed and it is exactly what you need. You are the one analyzing the data through your criteria and generate your conclusion. The most common tools that a researcher uses are:

· S Secondary research (reading and studying previously generated information). This type of research gives you more or less data in the form of information generated by others. You may find information generated by the subject or by others on the subject. Remember that this information is processed through other people’s filters, not yours. Take it as data.

o The Internet offers a huge amount of information and generally you would find a few things about the person of your interest in different online communities, by Google searching, etc. You will not be satisfied with the information you get, but if you are an insightful person you will be able to notice some important elements. One example is when the man says he is not married and then his best friend posted on face book some pictures of his wedding. Or the true story that the woman found a video on YouTube of her fiancée with him shoving his face in another woman’s breasts. Don’t look for disasters, though. Just gather information. You might come across an article he wrote and you find out that you like his style and you agree with what he said. That is also important info. So don’t look for bad things or good things, just find information. Notice what you find, write it down if you need.

o Another source of secondary research is talking to common friends, colleagues or acquaintances. They can tell you good things or bad things about him. Take the information into consideration, but don’t do what your friends say. What they are is their opinion filtered through their own criteria, not yours. So be aware but don’t confide completely in what they say whatever positive or negative the info would be.

Observation. This is a great way to gather real valuable information about your subject. It is direct information; it is fresh and unprocessed by others. The only problem is that it is time consuming. But you don’t mind that, because you are interested in spending time with that person any way. So while you spend as much time as you can with the subject, be aware of the things that he does, says, his attitudes, etc. Observe him in relation to others, check him out. You already have your criteria in mind so you know what things you need to notice. See how he talks, how much respect he shows others, what gestures he makes, etc. For example, if you want a generous man, an important piece of information will be how much tip he leaves the waiter when he pays for dinner, or even if he pays for dinner. Don’t react to that info. Don’t judge… yet. You will have plenty of time to analyze when you have all the information you need. Just notice details. They are very important.

Polls. Different people react differently to being interrogated. But there are things you need to know about a person and the only way to find them out is by asking a question. We are not talking about a real poll, the one with alternative answers or so. What you need is a set of questions that you need the answer to and, during your talks get the chance to ask them. If you are on an early date, it is normal to ask questions about the other, so people who have nothing to hide will be ok to answer you. Just be careful not to make them sound like an interrogation. Give your opinion on something to get his views. Ask him easy questions. You will be surprised that the TV show he likes will tell you a bit about his personality. They type of jokes he says are also hint givers. Use the date to gather information about your partner. But give information about yourself in the process too. After all, this is exactly what a date is.

Experiments. You reached a certain stage in your relationship and there are things that you need to find out that you can’t find in any other way. Experiments are situations that you can create with the purpose of testing something. For instance, if you want to know how tolerant he is to your needs, you might try to be late for a date and make him wait. See how reacts. It will give you a piece of information. If you want to know if he only cares for the way you look, try going on a date without your make-up on and see how he reacts. In any case, be careful with the experiments, because you are also involved in them and they also disclose information about yourself. When you create an artificial situation, you can present yourself in an untrue view. You don’t want to let him thing you are not careful with your image if you actually are very interested on how you look. You don’t want him to think you are material girls when you are testing how generous he is. It might not be such a huge criterion for you, but for him it is very important to know you are not with him for his money. So beware that he also has his own criteria and he is also assessing your relationship, whether he does it knowingly or not. Don’t risk it if it is not worth it. Also, don’t, under any circumstances, perform tests that might put you in danger. Try to find out if he can be aggressive through other methods. Do not provoke him unless you are a black belt in karate. Don’t be stupid. This entire process is meant only for intelligent and emotionally stable people.

Your views. There are things that you can find out about the other and you don’t need any instruments for that. Some criteria you just know if he meets them or not. If you like a taller guy, you will know when you see him the first time. If it is important for you how he kisses, you will have to try and you will know. If physical attraction is important for you, you will feel it. These are also valid ways to assess him.

Remember, all these tests are allowed. There is nothing unethical about them. You already are doing them unconsciously so don’t think that just by analyzing him this way you become a bad person. You are only finding out what is important for you to know about the person you are interested in. But do not exaggerate. Keep the research in your area of interest. Do not transform yourself in an investigator. Don’t make him feel he is being tested. Nobody likes that and you might lose him.

Show him respect when gathering the information. It is about getting to know each other.

And another advice: don’t keep the research on for too long. There will come a time when you need to make a decision. Give yourself a deadline and try to gather all the information you need in that timeframe. If you don’t know when to stop, you will transform your relationship in a lab and it will be a disaster for both of you. Once you covered your criteria, stop. Don’t invent new tests and new criteria. Just stop. It is not useful to test the same thing more than once. Unless you found out the information in an artificial way, there is no reason to think that the second time he will behave differently.

Step 6: compare the information with your criteria. If you use a check-list, check the ones he meets and leave the others unchecked. If you already have strong conclusions use them.

In case you are not able to balance the feelings with the results of your research, you can come back to the set of criteria and work it mathematically. It will help. How do you do that? You take each criterion and give it a certain number of points, based on how important it is for you that your life partner fulfills it. You can either use a limited scale (from 1 to 10, from -3 to +3) or not really. You actually order the criteria based on the importance you are giving them. Then you take the results of your research and assess it in parallel with your criteria. The subject might fill that criterion just partially, so you make a table in which you place the criterion, the number of points you gave it as importance and the percentage in which your subject fulfills it. Then you multiply and add the numbers and your conclusion will be very clear to you. Ideally, you can assign points to each criteria so that the sum makes a round total (100 points for instance) When you multiply the criterion points with the score your subject got and make the general total, you have a mathematical answer. If the subject gets over 50 points, he/she might be considerable as a potential life partner. If he/she goes under 50, you might think about ending the relationship.

Step 7: Conclusions and the Decision. Once you have all the info you need and the results of your analysis, however way you chose to make it, you have your results. You know. There are only 3 possibilities: confirmation (he is the one), rejection (he is not the one) and inconclusive (you still can’t decide)

· If the results show you that he is the one- be happy and go ahead with the relationship. You will be much more relaxed, much more confident in yourself and in him and your relationship has a chance to grow. Of course, he should also have found out that you are the one for him. Anyway, if he passed all your tests, chances are that you also passed his, because you are a match. Again, this process is for intelligent and emotionally stable people, who know themselves and are able to assess who they are and what they also can offer. So your image about yourself would be a realistic one. You will not have 100 criteria for man and not be able to meet any of his. If you want a man to be clean, you should also be clean… got the point?

“The one” means your match – that you are similar in the areas you need to be similar and have the necessary differences in areas you need to be different. So this is what you are checking.

If he is the one for you, you probably are the one for him.

· If the results show him as not being the right one for you, be happy. You spared yourself a lot of heart ache. You can decide whether to continue against what you know or to leave him. At least you know what to expect. You will not be surprised when he does something you don’t approve of, because you already know who he is. My advice is to leave him and try to find the right person for you. It is better to be alone than in a bad company.

· If you can’t decide, this test was not for you. You are not the right person to go through this process. You don’t know yourself well enough, you don’t know what you want in a man or you are being unrealistic in your criteria. You should not have even started this process. But if you did and reached this point that you cannot decide… I am sorry, you still have some growing up to do.

How do you assess the process? This process is successful if you reached one of the two conclusions: you confirmed your hypothesis or you denied it. In our example: if he turns up to be the one or he turns up not to be the one for you. I know you hoped he was the one when you started, but this process is not about hoping, but about finding out. It is not about feelings, but about knowing, although knowing will confirm your feelings.

To those who tried this process and came up with a relevant answer: Congratulations! I am happy for you. If he is the one, send me a picture of your wedding, if he is not the one, forget him and move on to the next one. Your knight in shiny armor will come to your life.

To my other half - boyfriend/lover/partner/husband (which role you are filling in my life at present): if you read this article, don't get angry. If you are in my life, it means you confirmed to me that you are the one and I love you even more. This test is a compliment for those who confirm. In fact, I know you won't get angry, because to be realistic and intelligent is one of my very important criteria and you obviously met it since we are together. I love you and I am sure of it.

Wacky Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.

Tipuri de femei - abordare IT

Femeia Virus -Cand te astepti cel mai putin, se instaleaza in apartamentul tau si se face stapana. Daca incerci sa o dezinstalezi, pierzi multelucruri. Daca nu, o sa pierzi totul.

Femeia Internet - Trebuie sa platesti ca sa ai acces la ea.

Femeia Server - Intotdeauna e ocupata cand ai nevoie de ea.

Femeia Windows- Stii ca are multe defecte, dar nu poti trai fara ea.

Femeia Macintosh - Atragatoare, fara cusur, destul de scumpa, dar nu prea compatibila cu
altele; doar 5 la suta dintre barbati cunosc placerea de a o avea.

Femeia PowerPoint- Ideala pt a o prezenta la petreceri, mese de afaceri, etc.

Femeia Excel- Se zice ca stie sa faca multe lucruri, dar tu o folosesti doar pt functia bazica.

Femeia Word - Intotdeauna te asteapta cu surprize si nu exista nimeni in lume care sa o inteleaga pe deplin.

Femeia DOS- Toti au avut-o o data, dar nimeni n-o mai vrea acum.

Femeia Backup - Crezi ca are destul, dar la ora de "sa vedem" ii lipseste ceva...

Femeia Scandisk- Stim ca e buna si ca vrea sa ajute, dar in realitate nimeni nu stie ce face.

Femeia Screensaver - Nu foloseste la nimic, dar te amuza.

Femeia Paintbrush - Toata machiaj si nimic de fond...

Femeia Hard-disk - Isi aminteste de toate, tot timpul.

Femeia Utilizator - Nu face nimic bine si vesnic te intreaba cate ceva.

Femeia E-mail - Din fiecare 10 fraze pe care le zice, 9 sunt tampenii.

in Europa nu e parc fara teren de sport in Romania nu e parc fara biserica

Un indicator al gradului de dezvoltare socio-culturalo-economica a unei tari este importanta religiei in viata de zi cu zi a oamenilor, masurata si prin numarul de biserici active pe o anumita suprafata

In tarile din vestul Europei, cererea pentru religie a scazut in ultimele decenii intr-un ritm asa de mare, incat multe biserici sunt acum cladiri de locuinte sau birouri. Cunosc un avocat olandez care isi are biroul intr-o fosta biserica. Cunosc si un consultant de resurse umane tot olandez care isi are biroul intr-un castel, dar sa ramanem la subiectul bisericesc. In tarile pragmatice din vestul Europei, care sunt recunoscute pentru a fi cele cu nivelul cel mai bun de trai, domeniile fostelor biserici sunt in circuitul imobiliar. Nici macar nu le pasa ca au o activitate nu tocmai ortodoxa intr-un spatiu care a fost sfant o perioada buna de timp. Deci in tarile dezvoltate, nevoia de religie este atat de mica incat nu numai ca nu se mai construiesc biserici noi, ci chiar cele vechi intra in circuitul comercial laic. Se pare ca vesticii au ales sa munceasca ca sa isi creasca nivelul de trai, in loc sa se roage.

In tarile musulmane, subdezvoltate, religia are un asa de mare rol in viata comunitatilor, incat se pot gasi moschei oriunde pe o raza de 500 de metri. Sunt asa de multe, si oamenii se duc mereu la moschee- chiar de 5 ori pe zi. Noi, “vesticii” ii consideram indobitociti si stim ca guvernele lor folosesc religia pentru a mentine un nivel scazut de educatie si pentru a putea controla masele astfel .

Acum, ce putem spune despre Romania?. Am in fata blocului un parculet curat, ingrijit, plin de copii de toate varstele. Este un parculet cochet, intre blocuri, cu zone dedicate pe grupe de varsta si spatiu ingradit pentru catei. Iti e mai mare dragul sa stai la bancon si sa te uiti cum asa de mutli copii se joaca si alearga. Saptamana asta a aparut un gard care imprejmuieste cam un sfert din acest parc. Am trecut pe acolo si am citi panoul proiectului- va creste acolo o biserica. Chiar daca nu sunt religioasa, nu am absolut nimic impotriva religiei si chiar ma duc la biserica uneori. Dar nu ma incanta deloc ideea ca in loc sa ma trezesc duminica dimineata cu rasete de copii sau batai de minge, sa ma trezeasca clopotele de biserica. Nu ma incanta idea sa fiu martora involuntara a inmormantarilor inevitabile. Nu vreau sa aud toate slujbele.

In orasele noastre nu prea mai exista parc care sa nu aiba o biserica noua. In Constanta, aproape fiecare parc mic are cate doua biserici, iar cele mai mari cel putin 3. Au construit 2 biserici noi in piata, au construit biserici printre blocuri, oricunde au gasit cate un loc liber.

Sunt eu oare singura care crede ca un parc ar trebui sa fie un loc de petrecere a timpului liber, in care sa alergi, sa faci sport, sa razi, sa spui glume cu prietenii (chiar si mai deocheate), sa intalnesti oameni de aceeasi varsta…etc? In tarile civilizate nu exista parc fara un teren de sport, la noi nu exista parc fara biserica.

Pe locul unde se va construi biserica asta noua, se puteau construi cel putin un teren de baschet si unul de tenis. Adolescentii joaca tenis cu piciorul pe alee, intre masini, langa parc. Un teren de baschet este atat de greu de gasit in Bucuresti, iar daca vrei sa joci tenis trebuie sa platesti bani grei. Nu suntem oricum o natie de sedentari? Chiar avem prea multe spatii amenajate pentru sport, incat preferam sa alocam parcurile pentru biserici? Chiar este cererea de ghidare spirituala asa de mare in Romania incat nu sunt suficiente biserici? Eu acum, mergand pe jos, ajung in maxim 15 minute la una din cel putin 4 biserici daca simt nevoia, dar la un teren de sport public nu pot ajunge asa de usor.

O sa ramanem o natie bolnava fizic, dar sanatoasa spiritual - cu capul plecat in spirit religios, care se roaga pentru ca Dumnezeu sa ne rezolve problemele.